Oh boy, as a C19th literature nut, I’ve really been looking forward to this one!
So who would I shag? Absolute no brainer here. Captain Troy (Far from the Madding Crowd) could show me his mad skillz with a sword any day of the week.
And who would I marry? Ah, Mr Edward Fairfax Rochester of course (especially if he looked like Michael Fassbender), but I would make sure he signed a pre-nup stating that if I went a bit loopy he wouldn’t lock me in the attic. And equally, I would promise not to burn the house down.
As for kill… Angel Clare from Tess of the D’Urbervilles. Seriously, there is no one else in literature who I hate as much as I hate him. And it would be a slow and painful death too. He is a cowardly, sanctimonious, two-faced, hypocritical little shit. And I would warn Tess’s sister to steer well clear of him too. Why do I hate him so much? This is why
Did I tell you I really hate him?