August #Bookadayuk – Day 22

Far From the Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë, Margaret Smith Tess of the d'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

C19th SHAG/MARRY/KILL

Oh boy, as a C19th literature nut, I’ve really been looking forward to this one!

So who would I shag? Absolute no brainer here. Captain Troy (Far from the Madding Crowd) could show me his mad skillz with a sword any day of the week.

And who would I marry? Ah, Mr Edward Fairfax Rochester of course (especially if he looked like Michael Fassbender), but I would make sure he signed a pre-nup stating that if I went a bit loopy he wouldn’t lock me in the attic. And equally, I would promise not to burn the house down.

As for kill… Angel Clare from Tess of the D’Urbervilles. Seriously, there is no one else in literature who I hate as much as I hate him. And it would be a slow and painful death too. He is a cowardly, sanctimonious, two-faced, hypocritical little shit. And I would warn Tess’s sister to steer well clear of him too. Why do I hate him so much? This is why

He marries Tess and on their wedding night he confesses to an affair with an older woman before he met Tess, and asks her forgiveness. Tess tells him there is nothing to forgive and responds that she was raped by Alec D’Urberville. So what does Angel do? He tells her she is reduced in his eyes and he can’t forgive her. He then abandons her and goes to Brazil. But not before asking Tess’s best friend to come with him AS HIS MISTRESS! Bastard. 

(show spoiler)

Did I tell you I really hate him?

 

SMK