DAY 11 – A BOOK YOU HATED
“I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.” Mark Twain
And thank you Mark Twain for so eloquently putting into words what I think about Pride and Prejudice.
Yes, yes I know it’s a classic, but it’s just SOOO FREAKING BORING. I need angst. Lots of it. I want death and destruction. I want worlds to collide and empires to crumble, but all I got with this book was a load of upper class twits talking about how to bag a husband.
But it could have been so much better. There’s Pemberley – a socking great country pile which is just crying out to be burned to ground by a mad woman in the attic. Or failing that, it’s perfect for someone to indulge in a spot of defenestration.
And there are FIVE sisters for heavens sake. Couldn’t at least one of them have been killed off? Louisa May Alcott managed it, and she only had four sisters in her book. Come on, surely one of them could have done a Beth March, a Miss Havisham, an Emma Bovary, a Maggie Tulliver, or even an Anna Karenina (admittedly this last one may be a tad anachronistic).
At the very least, Mrs Bennet could have drowned in the ornamental fishpond, preferably with Mr Bennet’s foot on her head at the time.
Epic fail. There weren’t even any zombies.