Halloween Bingo 2017 - American Horror Story

The Stepford Wives - Ira Levin

Are you a Stepford Wife? Take this quiz and find out.

 

Your husband is out at a ‘Men’s Association’ meeting. Do you:

A - Change into your comfiest leisure pants, grab a six-pack and watch Thursday Night Football

B - Ring your mother and complain about him being out all the time

C - Wax and polish the family-room floor

 

You need to go to the supermarket. What do you wear?

A - Purple velour leisure suit

B - Jeans and t-shirt

C - White gloves, summer dress, and coordinated jewelry

 

What sport do you play?

A - Rugby

B - Marathon running

C - Tennis (those white outfits are just so cute and don’t show the sweat)

 

What hobbies do you enjoy?

A - Drinking beer and eating nachos is a hobby, right?

B - Kick-boxing.

C - I don't have time for hobbies. This house doesn't clean itself you know

 

Mostly ‘A’: Oh honey. You need to stop channeling your inner Waynetta Slob, and get yourself a decent haircut. And try wearing some lipstick once in a while. And fumigate the house while you're at it. 

 

Mostly ‘B’: You’re like Calamity Jane before her makeover. You just need to do some extra housework, and put a little more care into your appearance. We suggest getting up at 4:30am to give yourself plenty of time to get it all done. 

 

Mostly ‘C’: Congratulations. You are a perfect Stepford wife. Admittedly your windows sparkle more than your conversation, but there is no outfit that can't be coordinated, and no floor that doesn't need polishing. Now put on that cute little sun-hat and get yourself to the supermarket.